Don't Mess With Cupid
by crbmyenthusiasm
Summary: Casey has quite the surprise for Derek.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** So, yeah, I know I need to start another fic about as much as Robert Downey Jr. needs to start smoking crack again, but what can I say? – This just came out the other day. I wasn't even going to post it, but what the heck. And, I know this has been done, but hopefully mine won't be too predictable.

I stole the title from an Otis Redding song.

**Disclaimer**: Hey LWD owners, why so serious?

OOOO

"Derek," Casey yelled. "Open up," she pounded frantically on his apartment door, "I know you're in there."

_**Bang. Bang. **_

"Open the door now!"

Shirtless and scratching his chest, Derek opened the door, yawning. "Since when do you knock like the police?"

Barging past him, Casey dropped her messenger bag on her way to his futon. "Since I found out I'm pregnant."

"_You're_ pregnant?" Ralph asked, as he entered the room.

Casey turned ten shades of red. Maybe it had been foolish of her, but she'd assumed that Derek wouldn't have company at eight o'clock in the morning. Hell, she hadn't even really thought that he'd be awake.

She hated to be rude, but Ralph was going to have to leave. This was really a two person conversation.

"Get out, Ralph!" As it turned out, she didn't hate to be rude that much; it felt kind of nice to yell at someone.

"You can't make me leave," he opened a can of beer--hell, it was noon somewhere. "You don't pay rent here."

"Neither do you," Derek pointed out. "So leave."

"Dude," Ralph said, incredulously, "you're taking her side?"

"No," he sighed, "I'm saving you. Think about it, do you really want to hear a Casey rant this early in the morning?" _He_ didn't want to hear a Casey rant, but he figured he didn't have a choice.

"It can't be that bad." Ralph didn't want to hear it, but he didn't feel like walking across campus to his dorm either. But when he took a second to think about how Casey rants typically went, he couldn't help but think, _'Maybe it will be that bad.'_ "Catch you later, D," he said, before grabbing his bag and heading out the door.

"A Casey rant?" she repeated, moodily, once Ralph had gone.

"It got him to leave didn't it?" he shot back, as he took the seat across from her. "Besides, I'd think you'd have more important things to worry about… like your pregnancy."

"So you did hear me?" She frowned. "By your lack of reaction I was beginning to wonder."

"I heard; I'm just trying to figure out what you want me to do about it. March the guy to a church with a gun in his back? Kick his ass?"

'_Like his scrawny butt can kick anyone's ass,' _she thought, meanly. "I don't know; can you kick your own ass?"

Blinking rapidly, he asked, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," she paused, dramatically, "you are the father," she said, in her best Maury Povich voice. The expression on his face after she'd imparted the news of his impending fatherhood supplied her with her first real laugh in days.

"But h-h-how?" He stuttered, unintelligibly. "We only slept together once."

"Oh my God!" Eyes widening comically, she covered her mouth with her hands. "I totally forgot that you can't get pregnant from a guy if you only sleep with him once." Standing, she grabbed her bag. "I'm just gonna go find that other, imaginary, guy I slept with."

Rolling his eyes, Derek pulled her back and pushed her lightly onto the couch. "So that was a stupid thing to say."

"You think?" she said, sarcastically.

Ignoring her tone, he said, "Have you been to a doctor?" He smiled. "Maybe you're not even pregnant."

"Three months, no period (her period had always been an unpredictable visitor, which is why it had taken her so long to catch on); sporadic morning sickness; five positive pregnancy tests—yup, I think I'm pregnant." She shook her head. "You're just batting a thousand in the saying stupid things department today aren't you?"

"Sorry," he told her.

Silence engulfed them then. Casey looked torn between anger and sadness, and Derek didn't know what she expected him to say or do.

In fact, the only thing that had popped into his mind upon her announcement was something he had heard a comedian say a few years earlier: '_If your girl ever tells you she's pregnant, there's only one thing you can say…_

"So what you gonna do?" He cleared his throat when Casey looked at him, she seemed startled he'd spoken. "What do you want to do?"

What'd she want to do? Well, for one, she didn't want to be pregnant.

"What do _you_ want me to do?" She snapped back. _'He probably wants me to get an abortion; can't have a baby interrupting his screwing skanks schedule.'_

Derek knew a trick question when he heard one. "Whatever makes you happy," he answered, neutrally.

"Whatever makes me happy? Kittens, butterfly stickers, the color coral, those things make me happy. But I'm pregnant, Derek," suddenly she felt on the verge of tears, "so could you please be serious?"

The tears were almost his undoing, but he wouldn't falter; Derek was upset too, and much like it always did, his being upset had him falling completely into ass territory. "You know what makes me happy, Casey? Sex. Sex with hot girls. And now, because I indulged myself, my life is ruined. Thanks. A. Lot."

Unable to believe what she was hearing--unable to believe his nerve, Casey took a second to try to get her anger under control.

But it was literally a second, and then she said to hell with it and slapped him.

"Go to hell."

"Too late," he rubbed his cheek, "I'm already there, thanks to you."

"Argh," she growled, making her way to the door, "I can't believe I ever slept with you." Swinging open the door, she marched out the room slamming the door behind herself.

"Yeah? Well that makes two of us," he yelled, after her.

But as soon as she was gone, it didn't take but a second for him to realize what a jerk he'd been. He hadn't even meant to be an ass, but she was crying and he felt like crying, and well… "Shit. Shit, shit," he mumbled under his breath. He was gonna have to fix this.

OOOO

It had taken a while, but Derek had finally gotten Casey's whereabouts from her roommate. And once he did, he didn't waste any time in getting to the main library. Upon his arrival he was more than a little annoyed to see some guy hitting on her. He became a little more than annoyed when he realized that the guy couldn't take a hint; Casey looked ready to tell him off. . . Or slug him.

And if she didn't hit him, Derek might.

Derek walked over to them, his body practically crackling with electricity. He was already hyped up over finding out that Casey was pregnant and their subsequent fight. Creepy hippie guy had really picked the wrong guy to mess with, intentionally or not.

"Leave," he barked at the guy. "She's pregnant."

Those two words would've sent most guys running for the hills, but not Mr. Hug-A-Tree.

"Derek," she hissed, clearly mortified. There couldn't have been a single person in a ten mile radius who hadn't heard him.

"So I'm guessing you're the father," hippie guy said, frowning in Derek's direction. Shaking his head back and forth, he tsked disappointedly. "That's too bad," his gaze shifted to Casey, "you could've done so much better; this guy's aura is fucked," he said, before turning and walking away.

"Don't I know it," she mumbled to his retreating back.

Choosing to ignore her last comment, Derek took a seat across from her.

"We need to talk."

"So talk." She had said all she needed to at his apartment. _'Let him apologize first, then maybe I'll talk.'_

"Well," he sighed, "this sucks."

'_So much for that apology.'_

"I mean," he continued, "I don't even, like, love you."

'_And… so much for us talking.' _

Shoving the book she had been trying unsuccessfully to read into her bag, she started to stand, but he pulled her back down into her seat.

"Don't get all upset," he told her, speaking to her like she was a child. "You know you don't love me either; so you don't get to act insulted."

'_That's what you think,'_ she thought sullenly, before crossing her arms over her chest.

"So how do I get to act then?"

'_Hell if I know.' _He shrugged. "I know you're scared or whatever." Lord knows he was scared. "And if you want to cry again," he braced himself, "I'm ready for it now."

"Oh, so you mean I have your permission? Gee thanks," she said, dryly.

"Come on, Casey," he scratched the back of his neck, "I'm trying here. I may be crashing and burning, but I am trying. But you gotta understand, when I went to bed last night my biggest problem in the world was where to take Tia for our date today, and now," he paused and gestured helplessly, "I don't know."

"Yeah, well, I don't know either," she said, sounding just as melancholy as he had. "A couple of days ago I was just a girl with an overactive imagination and a late period, and now I'm a girl with a scarily accurate imagination and no period. I miss my period, Derek," she whined.

"Please," he begged, grimacing, "stop saying period."

"I'm sorry," she replied icily. "Would you rather I talked about how not ready we are for a baby?"

'_Actually, yes; anything would be better than hearing you talk about your period,'_ he thought. He refrained from telling her that though, since he wasn't in the market for a black eye.

"'Cause we're not," she continued, starting to sound weepy again. "I don't know how to take care of a baby, and you, you barely know how to take care of yourself." She barely got out the last word, before she started full blown crying.

When he said he was ready for her to cry, he had lied. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

TBC…

A/N: So… what did you think? Drop me a line and let me know.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Well, color me surprised (and extremely happy). The first chapter of this fic got more reviews than any other opening chapter—and most other chapters—of one of my fics. So, I want to give a special thanks to all my readers. You guys rock!

I disclaim!

OOOOOOOO

It had taken a lot of coaxing and even a couple of thinly veiled threats, but Derek eventually got Casey to come back to his room to talk. Now, talking was about the last thing he wanted to do—he wanted to drown his sorrows in some Wild Irish Rose and pass out. But that didn't seem like a realistic option at the moment. Nope, he and Casey were going to have to talk, and he'd rather do it at his place than in the middle of the library.

When they got to his place though, there was no talking; there was only crying. And lots of it. Casey's tears hadn't let up in the library, they hadn't stopped during the walk to his apartment, and now that they were actually seated on his futon, Derek realized that Casey had indeed been holding herself back earlier. Now that they were alone she was sobbing with a sort of abandon that was really freaking him out. Derek couldn't even focus on his own fears or his own distress, because he was too busy focused on her theatrics.

With every tear that rolled down her cheek, Derek felt a little worse. And since he and guilt had never gotten along—never played well together, she really needed to stop.

"Look at the bright side," he blurted suddenly.

Casey didn't stop crying, but she did look at him then… like he'd lost his damn mind.

Little did either of them know, but they had the exact same thought at that moment: _'There's a bright side?'_

'_What's the bright side?' _he thought frantically. It was hard to think of one with her staring at him like he should be riding a short bus. So he said the only thing that popped into his head. "Well, it could be worse; at least we aren't in high school."

Her tears still didn't stop, but they did subside a bit. And she wasn't looking at him like she thought he was slow anymore.

Now she just looked pissed.

Derek couldn't really see why though. Sure, it had just been the first thing that popped into his mind, but now that he thought about it, he really thought he had a good point.

"If we were in high school there'd be all this ridicule and you'd probably have to drop out and everything," he explained. "But right now we're both at pretty good places in our lives. By the time you have the baby we'll both probably have steady jobs." He was trying to cheer her up, but he was actually making himself feel better. He was right- things actually could've been worse. "I mean this situation sucks, but we can do this."

Finally, her tears stopped completely, but Derek couldn't enjoy his success. He'd never seen someone look as angry as Casey did then.

"Correction: _you _can do this," she snapped. "_I _won't be able to take care of a baby, because _I _won't have a job. By the time I graduate I'll be seven months pregnant, Derek! Who in their right mind is going to hire a pregnant woman who is that far along, just so they can turn right around and have to give her maternity leave, huh?" The thought had only just crossed her mind, but she knew she was right. "I might as well have leprosy as far as potential employers are concerned," she finished, before sinking back into the couch.

Honestly, Derek wasn't sure whether she was over exaggerating, but he tried to calm her down anyway. "Even if that--

"And," she interrupted, lurching forward in her seat. Apparently, she wasn't finished after all. "I won't even go into how much _ridicule_ is liable to pop up as a result of our _preexisting_ familial relationship."

"Well," he paused, before conceding sheepishly. "That makes sense."

But when she lifted an eyebrow and gave him a 'duh, you idiot' look, he snapped. To hell with being nice and trying to make her feel better.

"I get you're upset and worried, so am I, but could you stop acting like poor put upon Casey? This was not some immaculate conception; we had sex, and now you're pregnant. We'll deal with it, okay?"

Casey's angry expression didn't change, but she was beginning to feel a little guilty. Derek was right – she got herself into this situation and now she had to face the consequences. Nobody had forced her to have sex with him. Despite the circumstances of their union, she had definitely known what was happening and had been a _very_ willing participant.

"And I'll help you with money and stuff, so chill. Our kid," Derek had to pause a minute, two words had never sounded crazier to his own ears before. "Our kid," he began again, "won't ever want for anything, if that's what you're worried about."

"Well, that takes care of the first eighteen years of his or her life," she said, sarcastically. She knew he was trying to reassure her, but talk about vague. He'd help her with money and stuff? What was she supposed to say to that, 'gee thanks, problem solved'? Please. What about the other nine hundred problems that her pregnancy presented. "I'm already practically three months along, Derek. I am going to start showing soon. What am I supposed to tell people?"

"Nothing." He sent her an odd look. "I'm sure everyone will figure it out when you turn into a cow and start upchucking all over the place."

_Upchucking? _Not for the first time, Casey had to wonder how she could be attracted to such a man.

"Not that, idiot. I'm not dating anybody, and nobody knows about our… tryst. So, what am I supposed to tell people when they ask who the father is?"

"The truth," he told her, simply. "Besides, I think they'll all start to put two and two together when they see me giving you child support checks."

'_Child support checks?' _Casey thought, feeling dangerously close to crying again—this wasn't how things were supposed to happen. "God," she whined, "this would all be so much easier if we were married."

Derek suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. _'Sure it would.'_ Was she living in a fantasy world? Not only was he unable to think of any cases of married stepsiblings having an easy life, but he couldn't think of any cases of married stepsiblings period.

Besides, even if it would've made their situation easier, it was still a moot point. "Yeah, I'm not seeing that happening."

"Chill," she said, mocking his earlier word choice. "I'm not asking for a shotgun wedding or anything, I was just saying."

"Yeah, well, don't. That's not even like an option for us."

Casey nodded in agreement, but inside her heart shrunk just a little. She knew where they stood and how Derek felt about her, she just wished he didn't have this constant need to remind her of how much he _didn't_ love her. She always played along with it, but now that she was having his baby it was becoming considerably harder to grin and bear it.

"Look," he began, completely oblivious to what she was thinking, "people are just going to have to accept this situation for what it is. We're stepsiblings who slept together and are now expecting a kid. We may not be together," he shrugged, "but so what?"

Her face was the picture of skepticism when she responded. "And you really think people, particularly our friends and family, are just gonna accept that? Just like that?" she asked in disbelief.

He shrugged. "If anybody doesn't like it, fuck 'em."

Casey stared at him, and if it was possible her expression became even sourer. This was just so easy for him, wasn't it? What was one more transgression when he had been disappointing his parents for years? Getting a girl he didn't even love pregnant was probably just the type of behavior people expected from him. With his lifestyle, he had been bound to slip up eventually.

But nobody would've expected this from her. She knew people saw her as a "good girl," they always had, and if she was being honest, Casey could admit that she played into that image. But this pregnancy thing was going to shatter it. Everyone was going to think she was a fraud. A typical pregnancy would've been one thing, but with Derek being the father she wasn't sure how she could possibly spin this in a way that wouldn't disappoint her parents. _Damn. _She hated disappointing people.

And she had a feeling that the longer they waited to tell everyone, the bigger the fallout was going to be. So, really, there was only one thing to do.

"We have to tell them," she blurted. Off of his puzzled look, she attempted to clarify. "Our parents, Derek, we have to tell them soon… like today."

"Why?"

"Because, unlike you, I can't just say 'fuck 'em'. I'd like to have some semblance of a relationship left with my mom after this is all said and done."

"And for that to happen, we have to tell them today?" He couldn't really see what one thing had to do with the other.

"Yes." She nodded vigorously. "The sooner we tell them, the more time they'll have to get used to the idea before the baby actually shows up."

'_But I'm not even used to the idea,' _he thought. And, just because he didn't care if people knew he and Casey were having a baby, that didn't mean that he wanted to go around broadcasting it.

"I don't think—

"Please, Derek," she interrupted.

She had on her sad eyes, but he shook his head, determined not to break.

"Please."

Her voice was definitely wobbly that time. _Damn it_. Sometimes he wondered if she turned on the tears just because she knew they were his weakness.

"Fine," he snapped. "Put on your damn jacket and let's go."

OOOO

"Oh my god," Emily squealed, when she opened the front door of her parent's house and saw Casey. "What are you doing home?"

"I needed to talk to my parents," Casey responded, while returning her best friend's hug. "They're not home though, so do you mind if I kill some time with you until they get back?" She supposed she could've stayed at the parents' house with Derek, but she figured they could both probably use a break from each other.

"Of course not," Emily answered, ushering her into the house. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming home this weekend, when I was telling you that I'd be here?" Though they went to different schools, they were still best friends and spoke regularly. "We could've made plans or something, but now I'm committed to my parents all weekend. I swear," she continued, as Casey followed her into the kitchen, "the way my folks talk, you'd think they never saw me."

"Well, it was really a spur of the moment trip," Casey said, answering her original question. "I didn't know it was necessary until today."

"Oh." Emily seemed to accept that. "Well, what's been going on with you?" she asked conversationally, as she began pulling out various items to make herself a snack.

"I'm pregnant."

Casey said the words so casually, like she was commenting on the weather or something that it took a minute for Emily to realize what she'd said. When she did, she dropped the glass she was holding.

"Come again?" she asked, still unable to believe that she'd heard right.

"I'm pregnant," Casey repeated, this time with feeling.

Emily looked at her a minute, then laughing softly, said, "No you're not."

But when Casey didn't join in her laughter, Emily began to worry. _Was she pregnant? No, she couldn't be. _This was Casey - the girl had more contraceptives than the free clinic. She had to be messing with her, didn't she_?_

Casey blinked. _Okay… _That wasn't really the reaction she'd been expecting, so she tried again.

"Yeah," she nodded, "I am."

Emily simply stared at her a moment, trying to see into her mind—trying to see the truth. And what she saw had her falling back against the counter.

"You're pregnant," she whispered in disbelief. "Damn."

'_You took the words right out of my mouth.' _

"I mean, congratulations," Emily said, realizing how she must've sounded. "This is great," she told her, smiling.

But when a full minute passed without any words of agreement from Casey, she asked, somewhat hesitantly, "Isn't it?"

"No," Casey murmured, finally giving in to her urge to cry. "This is awful, for a variety of reasons."

Phew. For a minute there Emily had thought that she was going to have to pretend that this wasn't the weirdest news she'd gotten, well, ever.

"What happened?" Emily blurted. "I mean, for years, since high school even, you had it all planned out. You were going to date casually in university, and then when you got into graduate school you were going to meet somebody who shared 'similar interests,'" she used air quotes, "and after a couple of years of dating exclusively you were going to get engaged and then get married after you finished school. Kids weren't even supposed to become part of the equation until you were firmly settled in your career."

"Yeah, well, plans change," she said, flatly. God, how silly she'd been to plan everything out in such detail.

"Obviously," Emily mumbled.

They just stayed like they were—Casey silently crying in her seat at the kitchen table and Emily leaning against the counter. They were both thinking about just how the hell this could've happened, but in very different ways.

Emily hadn't even been aware that Casey was dating anyone. It was hard to believe that there was someone Casey liked enough to sleep with, and she hadn't even bothered to tell her about it. Sure, there had been one guy Casey had told her about, but he couldn't possibly be the father… _Could he?_

Using as casual a tone as she could muster, Emily asked, "How's Derek taking it?"

Casey didn't answer, but the expression in her eyes when her gaze shot to Emily's was enough to give her away.

As far as Emily knew, she was one of only two people, Casey being the other, who knew for a fact how Casey really felt about Derek – who knew that she liked him. Oh, she still thought he was a jerk and there were times she couldn't stand the guy, but for some inexplicable reason she had been nursing a crush on him for the past few years. Actually, Emily got the feeling that it was a little more than a crush. Though Casey had never admitted it, Emily was pretty sure that she was in love.

And though she had been supportive and had even encouraged Casey to share her feelings with Derek, it was almost impossible for Emily to believe that they had actually gotten together.

"I'll be damned," she said, blowing out a breath.

'_Ditto.'_

"You and Derek are having a kid," she continued, shaking her head. "Wait, why are you so upset then? I mean, I know this wasn't the plan, but you and Derek are finally together so shouldn't—

"Let me stop you right there," Casey interrupted, holding up a hand. "Me and Derek aren't finally _anything_," she told her. "And he still doesn't know how I feel either, so don't go telling him."

Emily gaped at her. "What is all this then?" she asked, gesturing broadly with both hands.

"_This _is the result of one crazy night."

Silence engulfed them. Emily was waiting for Casey to elaborate, but when it never happened, she clucked her tongue and said, "Well, are you gonna tell me what happened or what?"

"No." She shook her head. "I think I'm all talked out for the moment." Plus, she felt like she ought to save herself for when they had to talk to the parents.

"Okay," Emily said, deciding it was probably better if she didn't push. Casey looked miserable, and Emily didn't want to pry and add to that, but her friend seemed so upset that she had to wonder if Casey had considered all the repercussions of her situation yet. "I know you're in a funky mood and everything, but you do realize that there's an upside to this, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. I waited 'til college to get knocked up, whoopty-freakin'-do."

"What?" Emily asked, puzzled. "That's not what I meant at all." Casey watched her expectantly, and even though she knew what she was about to say was probably going to sound cold and calculating, Emily said it anyway. "You've got Derek now—no matter how he feels about you, you've got him for the next eighteen years."

"I didn't do this on purpose," Casey snapped, defensively. "It's not like I was trying to trap him."

"I know," Emily said. She kept her voice low and soothing despite Casey's hostility. "I'm just saying, this can be your chance to work your way into his heart. You two have got a real bond now, and you can use it to your advantage."

Casey thought about that a moment, before smiling brightly. "You're right," she told Emily. "I can make him fall in love with me."

'_Umm… no you can't.' _That wasn't exactly what Emily meant, and she started to tell her friend that. "Uh… that's not really—

"I love him," she admitted, "and I'm having his child. This could actually work," she said, sounding more enthusiastic by the second. "I'll just get him to feel the same way."

"But," Emily began, attempting to do some damage control, only to be interrupted again.

"Thanks, Emily," she said, jumping up and hugging her. "I feel a little better now."

"I'm glad I could help," Emily said, sounding bemused. She'd been thinking more along the lines of Derek developing some romantic feelings for Casey; she supposed that his falling in love with her wasn't out of the question, but she just didn't see it happening. At least, she didn't see it happening as easily as Casey was making it sound. But if this made Casey perk up, then what the hell—she'd humor her.

OOOO

While Casey had escaped his presence after mumbling something about going to see Emily, Derek had retired to his room, deciding to take a nap and get a little rest before he had to drop the baby bomb on his father. But for the first time in his life, Derek didn't fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. All he could do was lie awake and think; which is exactly what he did until his phone started ringing. Now, he didn't really feel like talking to anyone, but between talking and thinking about his impending fatherhood, talking won out.

He flipped open his phone without even bothering to look at the caller ID; at this point he was willing to talk to anyone who could distract him from his thoughts.

He lucked out though; it was Sam.

"Where are you man?" Sam asked, not bothering to greet him. "You, Ralph, and me were supposed to hang out today, remember?"

Derek grimaced, before his lips turned up into a crude form of a smile. "Sorry. I can't make it. I had to come home to tell my dad and Nora that I knocked up Casey."

So much for not thinking about the baby problem. He didn't know why - didn't really even want to think about why - but for some reason, as soon as he heard Sam's voice, he'd had an uncontrollable urge to tell him about the baby.

"What?"

Derek pictured Sam's face and had to wonder if Casey had felt the twinge of amusement (and satisfaction) he was feeling now, when she had told him the news earlier.

"Could you repeat that?" Sam asked, still reeling from the news.

"Am I on speaker phone?" Derek asked, having noticed the change in sound quality.

"Yeah," he responded. "Ralph's right next to me. I want him to hear this, 'cause I know he won't believe me if I tell him."

"I. Got. Casey. Pregnant," he said, then sighed. It was much less amusing when he said it the second time.

"You had sex with Casey?" It was Ralph who spoke that time.

"Yeah," Derek fought the urge to roll his eyes, "that's how it's usually done."

There was a slight pause, then, "Well, how was she?"

Sam laughed hysterically, before saying, in a mockingly stern voice, "Hey man, that's the mother of his child you're talking about."

"Hey," Ralph said suddenly, over Sam's laughter. "How come you didn't tell us you guys were dating?"

"Because we're not."

"You're not?" All of a sudden Sam had sobered up. "Hmm, I bet her mom's gonna _love_ that. Jesus, Derek," he swore.

Derek rolled his eyes. "And, what – you think Nora would be over the moon if we were dating?"

"No," Sam admitted."But at least if you guys were together, it wouldn't look like her undiscriminating stepson had jumped her daughter during a fit of horniness."

Upon Derek's announcement, Sam had simply assumed that Derek and Casey had been dating secretly or something. He wouldn't have been surprised if they had been; there was obviously _something_ between them, there always had been. But to find out that they weren't even dating, well it kind of took some of the humor out of the situation. "What are you gonna do? You're gonna help her right?"

"No, Sam; I was planning on making her do everything herself," he said, sarcastically. "Really, _best friend_, your faith in my ability to do the right thing is overwhelming."

"Relax, Derek. I'm just worried about Casey," he paused, before adding, seriously, "and you."

'_Of course you're worried about Casey. She was your first love, after all,'_ Derek thought meanly. He was quickly coming to the conclusion that answering the phone had been a mistake.

And right when he was about to remedy his mistake, he was supplied with a genuine excuse to, oddly enough, from the parents. He heard them pull up.

"Look," he said, into the phone. "I gotta go. My dad's back and I don't want to deny him the opportunity to give me a longer, unabridged, version of the interrogation you just tried to dish out. Bye," he bit out, before snapping his phone shut.

After shooting a text message to Casey's phone, Derek headed on downstairs. The sooner this was over, the sooner he could concentrate on bigger problems. Like: just what the hell was he going to do with a baby?

TBC…

A/N: So… what did you think? Drop me a line and let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

Flashbacks are in italics.

OOOOOOOO

It was so quiet you could've heard a pin drop.

Sure, George and Nora had bustled in noisily murmuring about forgotten errands, surprise visits, and ever messy houses. And when Derek bounded down the stairs he was met with the required hugs and exclamations over his height (which hadn't changed one bit since his last visit). But when his participation in their hug was more absent than usual, Nora took a look at her stepson—a good look, and sighed.

"What is it, Derek?" She'd asked, taking a step back.

That's when Casey had walked in—a content, odd little smile on her face. That is, until she saw that the parents were standing right in the middle of the living room, already looking worried; then she was all pouts and sad eyes.

Confused beyond belief, the parents had stared between the miserable looking pair.

And it was Derek, not Ms. We Have To Tell Them Right This Second Or The Earth Will Tilt On It's Axis, who had spoken up. "Maybe we should sit down at the table or something."

So, there they sat—Derek and Casey on one side, their respective parents on the other. And, purposely or not, they were all participating in the most successful run of the Quiet Game ever.

_Say something. Say something. _Derek was willing Casey to speak. After all, this uncomfortable fest had been her genius idea, hadn't it? She couldn't honestly be expecting him to take the lead. In his opinion this little powwow was happening about six months too early; she was lucky he'd even agreed to it.

And at that moment he sent her a look that conveyed as much, but she still didn't waver. She simply sat, back ramrod straight, hands clenching her skirt, head down, and remained silent.

_Why not? _Derek shrugged. His day was already shot to hell; and the sooner one of them let the cat out of the bag the sooner he could go back to his apartment and work on perfecting his Arthur impression.

"Casey and I have something to tell you," he informed them.

_Thank God_, that's all Casey could think when she heard Derek speak. It may have been her idea, and she may have thought she was ready to tell everyone, but now that she was actually there she seemed to have lost her capability of speech. Besides, she was the one who actually had to bear the load, so to speak. The least Derek could do was be the messenger.

Then maybe he'd be the only one killed.

"What is it?" Nora whispered, her voice practically vibrating with wariness.

Had it only been one or the other, Nora and George wouldn't have been as nervous. How much trouble could Casey get in by herself? And, yeah, Derek screwed up sometimes, but he'd made it to his senior year without getting into any trouble that he wasn't able to get himself out of. But the two of them together… that had never equaled anything good.

Biting the bullet, Derek blurted out, "Casey's pregnant."

Casey's head shot up at his bluntness and she leveled him with a look. But he only shrugged. Why drag out the inevitable? She'd wanted their parents to know, and now they did.

"What?" Nora screeched, effectively gaining the attention of everybody… except George, whose eyes had popped out of his head at Derek's revelation and was now staring intently at Casey's stomach.

"Casey's pregnant," he repeated.

"Derek," his father uttered, sounding nothing like himself. "Maybe you should excuse us for a second." He slid a glance at his wife who seemed too stunned to speak. "We need to talk to your sister alone."

Derek grimaced at the sister part, but he almost grinned at being given an opening to leave. He wanted to be exactly anywhere but where he was, and he was about to make that want a reality… but then he looked at Casey.

Or rather, she looked at him. The expression she wore promised the ultimate retribution if he were to abandon her. Ralph hadn't wanted to hear a Casey rant? _Please_. Compared to a Casey bitch out, a Casey rant was like a walk in the park. His initial giddiness disappeared; he wasn't going anywhere.

"Derek," his father said again when he noticed that his son wasn't making any attempt to move, and this time it came out in a threatening hiss. "You need to go. _Now_."

"Wish I could," he muttered under his breath.

But Casey heard him. And just for that—for his obvious desire to escape, Casey blurted out a few words of her own.

"He can't," she said, sparing a glace for George, but focusing primarily on her mother. "He's the father."

When they saw their parents' reactions to the news, Derek and Casey were both each hit with their second "this would almost be funny if…" feelings of the day.

But those feeling quickly evaporated.

Nora had only looked worried before, now the expression on her face was a mixture of anger, sadness, disbelief, and worry. Casey didn't know if her mother was going to yell at her, cry, or slug her.

Derek had no such problem – he was pretty sure he was about to get slugged. The only expression George was wearing was pissed, and a level of pissed previously unknown to Derek to boot. _Thank you, Casey._

"What," Nora shuddered, "When," she began again, her breathing coming out so labored that she had to stop and start over once more. "How did this happen?" she finally managed to get out.

Derek and Casey both froze, each of them replaying how exactly it had happened in their minds. And, for once, they were both on the same page—the "they don't need to know all that" page.

"That's not important," Casey was quick to rush out. "It's done, and there's nothing we can do about it. What _is_ important," she continued, voice steady, as she tried to gain control of the situation, "is that we all find a way to accept it."

"I'm sorry," George said, jaws tight. "But I'm finding it just a little hard to accept that my son and stepdaughter are together and having a child."

Casey and Derek locked eyes again. _Shit_.

"We're not technically together," Casey corrected, quietly.

Derek rolled his eyes. _Technically?_ "We're not together in any sense of the word," he clarified. "We're just two people who slept together once and are now having a kid."

This time Casey joined George and her mother in looking at Derek as if he were crazy. Apparently someone had been absent the day God was handing out tact. Sure, he'd told her that he was going to say something along those lines to people who had questions about her pregnancy, but to say that to their parents… That was a bit ballsy, even for Derek.

And judging from the look on his face, it was apparently too ballsy for George.

"What is wrong with you?" George yelled, rising from his chair. "How can you say all of that so casually? You got your stepsister, whom you're not even dating, pregnant and you don't even seem to care." Genuinely baffled, George shook his head and continued. "You're too old to be acting like this. I mean, I thought being at University would've matured you, but you've only gotten worse," he shouted down at Derek. "You were always selfish, and you've been known to get out of control, but this," he paused, gesturing helplessly. "This is unbelievable."

"Well, believe it," Derek shot back, rising from his own seat. The disgust in his father's voice wasn't eliciting the guilt that he seemed to be going for; instead he was just fueling Derek's already high level of anger.

His day had been fucked from jump. And this whole "you're selfish" kick was the sugarless icing on the angel food cake. He was done. Done trying to do things Casey's way; done staying quiet while his father and her mother, both of whom clearly blamed him for all of this, looked at him like he was some kind of monster.

Casey wanted to tell them? Well, he'd tell them alright – he'd tell them exactly how things were going to be.

"She's pregnant," he said shortly, hauling Casey up by her arm and holding her in place by his side. "I'm the father," he bit out. "And—

"And," George interrupted, "now that you've made yet another mistake—this time, one that you can't undo—you came running home expecting me and Nora," he shot a glance at his wife, who seemed to be in shock, "to take care of it for you. Well, you can just--"

"Let me stop you right there," Derek broke in. "I – we didn't expect anything. Casey just wanted to tell you guys because she loves you and didn't want to hurt you. For some reason, she actually gives a damn about what you think about this. Luckily," he smirked then, "I have no such problem." That wasn't exactly true, but he'd never let his father know that.

"And," he continued, "just so there's no misunderstanding, I don't need you to take care of anything. My baby," he loosened his grip on Casey's arm and ran a possessive hand across her stomach (a gesture that surprised everyone). "And my," he paused for a moment, uncertain what the hell Casey actually was to him, before eventually grunting out, "friend. I'll take care of them both."

Scoffing, George coked an eyebrow at his son. "Good luck."

"Gee thanks," he said, mockingly. "And as much as I'd like to stay here and be insulted, I think I'd better leave before I do something we'll both regret." The threat in his tone was unmistakable, but George's superior smile didn't slip a bit and it was taking everything in Derek not to physically remove it from his face.

"Bye, _dad_," he muttered, his voice an equal mixture of anger and bitterness, as he headed for the front door.

He wouldn't have looked back either—had been determined not to—until he noticed that Casey wasn't following him. When he did look, he saw that she and her mother were engaged in the most intense staring contest he'd ever witnessed. _Damn_. During his show down with his father, he'd kind of forgotten about Nora. Nora, who he'd always liked – who had always been good to him. He wanted to say something to her, but he couldn't bring himself to. His main concern at the moment was getting the hell out of dodge.

"Casey," he called out to her, "come on."

Casey hesitated. Things weren't done there, not by half. And though the conversation had gone to hell pretty fast, Casey was positive, or at least hopeful, that things could be salvaged. She knew that, given time, she could get through to her mother. And, yeah, George was all kinds of pissed right then, but that would ware off eventually. It had to. They all just needed to talk things out.

"Casey," Derek's voice rang out again, this time with an air of disbelief. _She can't possible be thinking about staying here with them, can she?_

That time, Casey turned her attention to Derek. Not because of the disbelief, but because of what she'd heard under it – hurt.

But before she could even begin to contemplate what that meant, George was interrupting her thoughts.

"Stay, Casey," he said, voice still stiff, but considerably less hostile than it had been when he was speaking to Derek. "We've got some things to discuss, like what we're going to do about your… condition."

Her breath caught, and she sent him an openly questioning look. It had been obvious that his "we" didn't include Derek.

And, in the end, that's what had her drifting towards the door. Her romantic feelings for Derek aside; whatever she may have thought of Derek and his ability to help her and be a good father aside; she'd never deny him the opportunity to try.

She didn't know if it had been earnestness or anger that had driven him to declare that he'd take care of her and their child, but she knew that he'd meant it when he said it.

Besides, she kind of figured that siding with his father would only seek to throw salt in her whole "make Derek fall in love" game. So, really there was only one thing to do: she was leaving with Derek.

"Casey."

It was her mother's voice that time, and the surprise of hearing it was enough to halt Casey's footsteps and pause Derek's turning of the doorknob.

But once she had everyone's attention, Nora's lips snapped shut. It was as if her daughter's name had tumbled from her lips by accident, because she sure didn't appear to have anything to say.

Well, that wasn't exactly true. She looked like she had _plenty_ to say. But, still, nothing came out.

And after one last sad look at her mother, Casey allowed Derek to lead her from the house.

OOO

They were halfway back to school, before either Casey or Derek were up to talking.

It was Derek, with eyes narrowed to the point of slits and his hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel, who spoke first.

"Well, that was fun." His mouth turned up in a crude little smile. "You've altered the course of the rest of my life, slapped me, and sent me to do battle with my father. What other type of fun do you have planned for me today?"

Casey shrank back a little in her seat, because even though she knew he'd been being sarcastic, she was about to give him a very serious answer.

"We're only halfway done," she mumbled.

"Huh?"

"We still have to tell your mother and my father," she explained, then sat back and waited for the inevitable yelling.

It never came though. Instead, Derek gave a short bark of laughter.

"I thought we were only broadcasting our business to maintain relationships?"

She nodded. "Yeah; so?"

"So, you're relationship with your father and my relationship with my mom both border on being nonexistent," he told her, sounding as if he could care less about that fact. "What's the point? I'd venture a guess and say they won't even care."

He may've had a point, but she thought he was exaggerating just a tad bit. She couldn't speak for Abby (especially considering she'd seen the woman all of five times), but she knew her father would definitely care that she was pregnant. Now, he might not care so much that Derek was the father, but he'd care that she was an undergraduate, unmarried, virtually unemployed soon to be mother. Lord only knew how he'd react—sad as it was, they weren't really close enough for her to hazard a guess as to what his response would be. But she was certain that he would have one.

"Well, regardless," she began, choosing not to start debating the issue of who would and wouldn't care with Derek. "I still want to tell them. I'm not expecting us to fly to New York or…"

"Brazil," he supplied helpfully, when her voice trailed off. "I think," he added after a moment.

"We don't have to go there or anything. I don't want to be unreasonable--"

_You don't? Sure could've fooled me._

"But we're still calling them when we get back to your place."

"Why not?" He bit out. "Might as well finish the day off with a bang."

OOO

As she made her way across campus to her dorm, Casey couldn't help but think that there hadn't been very much of a bang when they'd told their other parents.

Abby had been disgruntled, but that was due more to the fact that they'd woken her up than anything else.

_After hearing their news, Abby replied calmly, "You're both still finishing school, right?"_

_Sharing a look over the phone, they murmured "Yeah."_

_Breathing a sigh of relief, Abby said, "Thank God. Things could definitely be worse then."_

'Is that the theme of the day or something? Jeez,' _Casey thought to herself._

"_I'll call you two later, after I've had more time to process this," she said, seriously. "Don't worry though; I'll be setting something up for the baby immediately. Good-bye," she said crisply and then the line went dead._

"_That's it?" Casey exclaimed, looking at the phone in disbelief._

"_What?" Derek snapped his phone shut. "Did you want her to yell at us?"_

"_No. I just… I just wanted something," she finished sheepishly. _

"_Oh, well didn't you hear?" He put on a mocking smile. "She's setting up something for the baby."_

"_I don't want money, Derek," she snapped. "I wanted emotion."_

"_Casey, this is the woman who barely batted an eyelash during her entire divorce – she gets about as emotional as a piece of wood."_

"_Still, I don't--"_

"_I don't know why you're surprised anyway," he told her, interrupting. "I told you they wouldn't care."_

"_We still have my dad to call," she shot back. "And he will care."_

Well, at least she'd been right about that… to a certain degree anyway.

"_You're pregnant?" he shouted, causing Casey to flinch._

"_Yes," she said, tentatively._

"_And Derek is the father?"_

_Another weak "yes" from Casey._

"_When's the wedding?" Dennis asked casually._

_Too casually. Like he already knew the answer and was just waiting for them to say it._

_And Derek didn't disappoint._

"_Never," Derek said, heatedly. Oh, he liked Dennis alright, but he'd never respected him—never thought that Dennis respected his daughters. So this was just a bit much for Derek to take._

_Eyes flaring, Casey punched Derek in the shoulder, before speaking. "It's not like that, daddy."_

_There was a long pause then, so long that even Derek began to feel wary. Then,_

"_I see. Alright," he cleared his throat, "this is what we're going to do."_

'Shit,' _Casey thought. _'He has on his lawyer voice.'

"_I'll have my secretary send you a plane ticket tomorrow."_

'Huh?' _"Huh?"_

"_You'll come up here, of course," he elaborated, in a tone that implied that she should've known what was coming. "I have this big, fully staffed home. There are people here who can take care of you."_

"_Counting yourself in that group, Dennis?" Derek wanted to know._

_But Dennis ignored him. "Everything will be alright," he assured his daughter. "You'll be taken care of."_

"_What… what about school?" was all Casey could manage to get out, even though at that moment school was the least of her concerns._

"_There are schools here, Casey."_

_Casey was shocked and speechless, but she didn't dismiss him outright. Here's why: her father may not have been the world's greatest dad, but he was financially stable, and he'd do whatever was in his power (read: his bank accounts' power) to make sure that she had everything she could ever want or need. A pregnant woman could do far worse in terms of a helpmate. _

"_So what do you say?" Dennis asked._

_Casey spared a moment to glance at her other option: a very pissed looking Derek. There was no financial stability there. And she didn't know if his apartment was big enough for both of their personalities, let alone the two of them and a baby. Not that he'd offered to house them because, as he had informed anyone who would listen, he didn't love her. _

_She loved him though. And, apparently it was one of those "make you do stupid things" kind of loves, cause she shook her head._

"_Thanks for the offer, daddy. Who knows, I may have to accept it one day," she joked weakly, even as Derek frowned at her. "But for now, I'm going to stay here and try to work through this with Derek."_

_Her father was so quiet that time that they would've thought he'd hung up if it wasn't for the lack of the dial tone. _

_Finally, he said, "alright. Call me if you need anything." _

_Then he hung up._

_Fighting a smile, Derek looked up at Casey. "Funny, he gave in so easily, one might think that he didn't even care."_

They'd argued half-heartedly for a minute, before Casey yawned and announced that she was going home.

And, even though, the day had sucked majorly, Casey couldn't stop a smile from gracing her lips as she pulled open the door to her building.

She'd accomplished a lot, gotten a good amount of drama out of the way. And now she could focus on other things, like winning over Derek.

TBC…

A/N: So… what did you think? Drop me a line and let me know.


	4. Chapter 4

Casey never had any problem venting her anger . . .

Until then.

It wasn't that Emily wasn't the perfect audience – she listened quietly while Casey ranted at her through the phone, speaking only to agree wholeheartedly with her friend.

But every time Casey got going, every time her pacing caught the perfect rhythm, every time she started dropping the "g" from words and infusing her insults with more swear words than was necessary, she got interrupted before she could really get on a roll.

The house phone would ring – her sister leaving another message she was no where near ready to reply to.

Her roommate would crank up her music and start liturgical dancing like the missing member of the _Saved! _cast.

Or, much like it was happening then, someone would start pounding on her door.

Grimacing and heading for the door, Casey could only hope that, for their sake, whoever was knocking was on the brink of death, because that's the only thing that would stop her from killing them.

When Casey opened up her door to see Derek standing on the other side of it though, she had to revise her earlier opinion: after the shitty way he'd been treating her the past couple of weeks, nothing was going to stop her from killing his ass.

"What are you doing here?" Casey wanted to know.

"What?" Derek asked, barging past her and walking straight into the tiny living room. "I don't even get a 'hi'?"

Trying her best not to gasp at his audacity, Casey slammed her door shut and turned to Derek. "I reserve those for people who _don't_ ignore me for two weeks."

"Who's ignoring you? I'm here checking up on you, aren't I?"

Casey took a long look at Derek, who was currently searching through her cabinets looking for something to eat, and folded her arms across her chest.

"Oh, is that what you're doing?" she asked, an almost impressive amount of sarcasm infusing each word. He didn't answer though – didn't even seem to have heard her, and that set her off even more than she'd already been. "You know, if you had just returned one of my fifty phone calls or even bothered to open the door when I came over last Tuesday, you could've saved yourself a trip."

Finally noticing the unmistakable note of anger in her voice, Derek paused his rummaging and spared her a glance. "You got a problem with me or something?"

"Yeah, I do," she bit out. "Where the hell have you been?"

Now, she knew that she was supposed to be being all sugar and spice and everything nice so she could get on his good side. And she'd return to doing just that in a little bit; but at that moment she was going to chew his ass out. Nobody ignored Casey McDonald, especially not the father of her baby.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," she said, marching up to him – she wanted to make sure that he caught _every_ word of what she was about to say. "I've been steady calling you for the past two weeks. I've left messages; sent texts. I even left a note on your door that day I stopped by." They were standing toe to toe now, and from the tightness of his jaw Casey didn't doubt that he was hearing her loud and clear. "And you couldn't even be bothered to get in touch with me. God, Derek," she swore, "I could've lost the baby, and you—

"What?" he interrupted, grabbing her arm. "What happened? Is the baby okay?"

The frantic tone of his voice was enough to throw her, but the obvious worry in his eyes actually had her deflating a bit.

"Yes," she stuttered out, "the baby's fine. I was just saying – _that's_ my point, Derek. Something _could've _happened and you wouldn't even have known, because you couldn't bring yourself to pick up a phone."

Derek didn't look worried anymore, just pissed. And if the expression on his face wasn't enough to let Casey know that he was unhappy, the death grip on her arm conveyed the message just fine.

"Next time you want to make a point, Drama Queen, pick your words with more care."

So much for deflating—her fury was back in full force.

"Next time I call, don't be a _dick_. Pick up the phone and I won't have to make any more points!"

"Fine," he snapped, letting go of her so suddenly that she stumbled back a bit. He didn't notice though, he was already heading for the door. "You call, I answer. Happy?"

"Argh," she growled, "you are a shitty friend."

He turned around then, her comment having caught him completely off guard. She couldn't see why though – _what did he think we were fighting about?_

"What?"

"You, you," she paused. _Damn_. She was about to cry, she could tell. Her throat was tight, her breathing was off, and all the blinking in the world wasn't going to stop the tears from falling from her eyes. _Damn, damn, damn._ All she wanted to do was be tough for five minutes, she just wanted to get through to him. But not for the first time, she had to wonder if her plan was even feasible. Maybe she had to accept the fact that he wasn't about to be won over.

Yeah, she was _definitely_ about to cry.

"Casey," he sort of whispered her name. And for once he didn't sound angry or annoyed. In fact, he almost sounded like he had when he'd asked about the baby – worried.

_Worried about me? Maybe… _

And maybe she didn't have to accept anything just yet.

Worry was good. Worry could lead to guilt, which could maybe bring repentance. Worry could be her ally.

How could she have forgotten, tears were always her friend when it came to dealing with Derek. Just like that she stopped blinking and let them fall freely, even working up some sniffles and hiccups for good measure.

"You told George that we were friends," she said accusingly. "But you don't even know what that means." She was practically whispering, but it seemed to be having more of an effect on Derek than yelling ever had. He actually looked a little ill. "Friends are there for you," she swiped at her eyes, "friends take care of you, just like you swore you'd take care of me," she made her voice break a little, "and our baby."

Aha! There was the guilt, she could see it. He was rubbing his neck and frowning.

'_Come on repentance,' _she silently urged.

Her urging was unnecessary though, Derek felt like shit. How was he supposed to know that two weeks was a deal breaker in Casey's world? He hadn't returned her phone calls, because he never did. It wasn't anything personal, he hardly ever returned _anyone's_ calls. It had never even occurred to him that something could've been wrong with the baby. And as for her coming by, he really hadn't been home. Yeah, he'd gotten her note, but so what? It hadn't said anything important, so he hadn't bothered to try to get in touch with her. That wasn't how their relationship worked—that wasn't how things had ever worked between them.

She nagged, he ignored. That's the way they worked. And since he'd actually given into her nagging the last time they'd spoken, he'd assumed that a two week vacation wasn't too much to ask for.

Apparently, he'd assumed wrong.

He sighed. Her pregnancy was changing everything, and none of it for the better. But he'd meant what he'd said to his father, so—

"Derek," Casey said, interrupting his thoughts. "Are you even listening—

"I'm sorry," he grunted out, effectively cutting her off. Awkwardly, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Next time you call, I'll answer. I'm here for you," he promised, his voice the height of sincerity. Then, ironically enough, he was gone.

Casey simply stared at the spot he'd just vacated, feeling both dazed and extremely happy. The sound of somebody yelling her name knocked her off her little cloud though. It almost sounded like… _shit. _

It was Emily. Emily, who she'd made promise to stay on the phone – Emily who she'd forgotten all about as soon as she'd seen Derek's face. Rushing over to her phone, an apology on the tip of her tongue, she got ready to grovel. Emily spoke first though.

"As entertaining as that was," she began dryly, "if you ever put me on hold like that again I'm taking my own two week break from you."

"Sorry," she grimaced, "I forgot you were there."

"Obviously," she mumbled.

"On the bright side though," Casey began, and Emily could practically see the Kool-aid smile on her friend's face. "I got him to apologize. Things are going to be _so_ different from now on."

Emily sighed. Was Casey new here? Things were so not going to be different that it wasn't even funny. Okay, so Derek probably would answer the phone the next time she called, but so what? It was going to take more than some answered phone calls and an ambiguous promise to be there for her for Casey to work her way into his heart. And, really, Emily thought Casey should've known that.

Derek didn't know anything about helping a pregnant woman. Hell, he didn't seem to know anything about helping anyone. And if history had taught them nothing else, it'd taught them that he wasn't too keen on learning how to help either. If Casey really wanted to see some results, Emily was pretty sure that it was going to take a little more than a Julia Sugarbaker type speech to get him moving in the right direction.

"What?" Casey asked, somewhat anxiously, after having heard Emily sigh.

"Things aren't going to be that different, Casey," she told her quietly.

"But he said—

"Yeah, I heard what he said," she interrupted. "I'm just saying, that guilt trip you just tried to send him on was a good start, but these are desperate times, and desperate times call for—

"Desperate measures," Casey finished, somewhat sullenly, before dropping onto her couch. Emily had effectively taken the wind out of her sails. "Well, what am I supposed to do?"

'_Stop acting crazy, sit back, relax, and let nature take its course,' _Emily answered silently. But since that didn't seem to be an option as far as Casey was concerned and since she had already started down this movie worthy wacky plan path, Emily simply said, "I don't know, but I'd be desperate about it if I were you."

OOO

As she stood in front of Derek's door, Casey almost had to laugh. Had Emily known who she was talking to? Casey could be desperate alright. Hadn't she been being desperate since she found out she had a thing for Derek? Hanging around places she knew he'd be at; watching his hockey games from the nose bleed section just so she could catch a glimpse of him without him catching her; sleeping with him even though she knew he didn't feel anything near what she felt for him. Desperation was an old friend.

And if Emily was right—if it was going to take some sort of Hail Mary play to get Derek, Casey was game.

Taking a second to put on her mug, Casey raised her hand and knocked on the door.

She heard a few mumbled curses, then the door was open and a shirtless Derek was frowning at her.

"Is this how you always answer the door?" she asked, completely serious. (Cause if it was, that was sure something she could get used to.)

He shrugged. "I've never had any complaints."

_And you're not about to get one right now either._

"Was there something you wanted?" His voice came out a little sharper than it had a second ago and his frown had turned into a grimace – he'd noticed her suitcases.

Not waiting for an invitation, Casey picked up her bags and walked past him and into his apartment.

"I've been reading," she announced, once he'd closed the door and turned around to face her.

_Shit_. _Casey reading… that had never meant anything good._

"The Baby Journal--"

Casey had to fight the urge to make a face as soon as she said the name. She really should've taken the time to come up with something better than that.

"--says that in order for a baby to come out happy and healthy, the parents must provide a stable and cheerful environment while he or she is still in the womb. It is imperative that the parents provide this environment together." Now, for all she knew, what she was saying could've very well been true, but she was just talking out of her ass. It sounded good though and was serving her purpose so she kept right on going. "It is necessary for the father to spend as much time as possible with the unborn child. In short, if we're apart for extremely long periods of time during the pregnancy our child will have trouble—

"Wait," Derek held up a hand to stop her. He took one look at her suitcases and then took in the determined expression on her face, and his stomach dropped to the ground. It almost sounded like she was suggesting… "You want to move in here?"

"Well," she paused, "yes."

'_No,' _his mind screamed. His roommate free apartment was one of the few perks of having a mother who equated love with money, and he sure as hell wasn't itching to give it up.

"What's wrong with your place?" he wanted to know, like he hadn't just heard her whole The Baby Journal speech.

"You're not there," she said slowly, and in a tone that implied that her answer should've been obvious.

"Well," he paused, frantically searching his mind for a way to get her off this track. "Won't your roommate miss you?" he finally said, even though, as far as diversions went, it was pretty lame.

Her expression darkened immediately. "Probably not. While Lily's glad I'm keeping my baby." (Maybe glad was the wrong word; Lily had told her that 'stretch marks were the badge of a real woman.') "She's less than thrilled about the circumstances." Casey paused, before adding, "she is very vocal with her opinions." That wasn't part of the lie – Lily was one more censoring frown away from getting cussed out.

"Really?" Derek said, skeptically. He knew Lily (in the biblical sense). With some of the stuff she was into he couldn't see how she could judge anyone without being struck by lightning.

"Yes, really," Casey answered, annoyed. This was not the part that she'd thought he wouldn't believe. She dug around in her purse and handed him a couple of pamphlets. "She gave me these, Derek."

"'How to Turn Your Mistake into a Gift,'" Derek read the title aloud and laughed. "How hard was it for you to not this back in her face?"

"Pretty hard," she admitted.

"Well," he began, after he'd sobered up some, "as bitchy as that was, I still don't—

"It's okay if you don't want me to move in here," she interrupted, before he could come right out and refuse her. It was time to put in a call to her old pal guilt. "I guess I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that our baby will be born into a hostile, unhealthy, and unstable environment where—

"Just stop," he cut in, and Casey could hear the sigh before it even came. "Do you really believe that you moving here is necessary – that it'd be for the best?" His voice wasn't even sarcastic or anything when he asked; he sounded like he really wanted to know.

She didn't even have to lie when she answered. "Yes."

"Fine," Derek snapped. He didn't want Casey to move in—thought it was a terrible idea, thought they'd drive each other crazy. But he didn't want her to be uncomfortable either; if she was uncomfortable, then their kid would be too. And if he had to have a child then he didn't want one who came out all weird or anything, so if this is what it took to have a stable kid or whatever the hell it was she'd said, then this is what he'd do. "You can move in."

Resisting the urge to jump around like an idiot, Casey simply nodded. Two significant victories in a week… things were looking up.

"I just hope I don't live to regret this," he muttered under his breath before stalking to his room and slamming his door.

He could be as pissy as he wanted, Casey's mood still wouldn't be dampened. Now that she was going to be constantly in his face there was no way he'd be able to resist her. She'd make sure he didn't regret letting her stay there… or die trying.

TBC…

A/N: This chapter was supposed to have another part, but I felt this was a good place to stop it though.

Hate it? Like it? Drop me a line and let me know what you thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam had held his tongue as long as he could.

When Derek had called him a week ago and told him about Casey moving in, he'd been a good friend and not replied with any of the hundred responses that had immediately sprung to his lips. Instead, he'd mimicked the unbelievably casual tone Derek had used, and let the topic die quickly, directing their conversation to sports and cars - things less likely to make Derek's head explode.

But as Sam trailed his friend into the apartment formerly known as only Derek's and saw, smelled, and heard proof of Casey's presence, his curiosity couldn't be held in check any longer.

"How has this been working out?" Sam asked, cautiously, expecting to hear something along the lines of "awful," or "this sucks ass." Or, at the very least, a grunt accompanied by a shoulder shrug.

"Great," Derek said, sporting one of his infrequent grins.

That - he had not been expecting.

"If I'd have known that knocking somebody up got you a live in maid/cook," he continued, "I would've done it years ago."

He fell out laughing then, and Sam might've been tempted to join him if it wasn't for the fact that he noticed a very ticked looking Casey emerging from the kitchen. And if her flushed face and the way she was holding the butcher knife were any indication, she'd heard every word of what Derek had just said.

In fact, forget ticked, Casey looked like she was about to go Highlander on Derek's ass. And Sam decided he had better take some action before his innocent question and Derek's not so sensitive answer could cause any real drama… or violence.

"Casey," he exclaimed, in a happy voice that sounded fake even to his own ears, and rushed over to her. "I missed you."

"You did?" Casey responded, as he wrapped her in a bear hug. It wasn't that she disbelieved him—after all, they were friends—but he'd never seemed that happy to see her before… even when they were sleeping together.

"Yeah. In fact," he went on, never breaking their hug, "I think we should catch up."

"Umm… okay," Casey agreed, uneasily. She was all for hugs, but this was a bit much.

"Great," he said, before dragging her into the closest room that had a door, leaving a somewhat stupefied Derek to stare after them.

"The bathroom, Sam," she said, staring pointedly at the toilet he was now perched on. "You want us to catch up in the bathroom?"

He shook his head. "Not really. I just wanted to make sure that you didn't get too happy in there, Ms. Bobbitt."

She clucked her tongue. "I wasn't going to hurt him, Sam."

"Okay," he laughed, "now try saying that without brandishing a knife."

Casey looked down at her hand and rolled her eyes. "I was just chopping up some onions."

"With a machete? Who are you - Crocodile Dundee?"

"No, silly." She smiled mockingly. "I'm the maid who cooks, remember?"

Sam winced. "So you heard that, huh?"

"Don't you know," she was still smiling, but she looked more like the Joker than Casey, "people in my profession are trained to be especially attentive."

"Come on, Casey," he began, putting on his best 'I'm Sam, the nice one, so listen to me while I show you reason' smile. "He didn't mean it the way it came out." Even as he said it, he knew he was lying, and he had a strong feeling that Casey--

"You're lying," she accused, jumping up from her makeshift seat on the edge of the tub. "Tell me, how else could he have meant it?" She was trying her best not to yell, but from the slightly scared look on Sam's face she could only assume that her best wasn't good enough. "What am I missing, huh?" she pressed when he didn't immediately answer. "Cause unless he was picturing me in a little French maid costume complete with a feather duster and some black thigh-hi's when he said it, I don't think I can count it as a victory."

_A victory?_ "So you do like Derek?"

"At the moment… no."

She was still brandishing her knife, looking ready to bolt at any moment and go castrate Derek, so maybe that was a dumb question. So, Sam tried another one.

"But you have a thing for him, right?"

_A thing? If only it were that simple. _

"No," she snapped. "I just," she paused, unsure of what to say. _I just what? _"I - I," she stuttered, while Sam just stared knowingly at her. _ I just love him and he sees me as the hired help. _

Oh God, was it the pregnancy? She'd always been a girly girl, but this was getting ridiculous - she was about to cry again. And it wasn't going to be like with Derek; she didn't want to be all weak in front of Sam. The last thing she wanted was someone's pity. Or worse: his condemnation when he found out just what she was up to.

"Casey," Sam said her name tentatively. Her lips were moving, but nothing was coming out, and Sam was beginning to think that maybe he should just stop asking questions. Apparently they drove Casey crazy - first the knife, now this. "Are you okay?" he asked, after she brought her gaze back to his.

"Yeah," she managed to get out, while choking on a sob.

For one of the few times in his life, Sam wanted to punch Derek. Here his girl was (and really, how else could he think of Casey? Once you get somebody pregnant, whether you're together or not, she's kind of your girl) pregnant, crying, and looking depressed as hell, and Derek was probably watching TV as oblivious as ever. His hand itched to knock some sense into his friend, but instead he reached out and enveloped Casey in his arms.

"He'll come around, Casey," he murmured in her ear.

"No, he won't," she whined, letting her body sink into his as he attempted to comfort her.

"Yeah," he rubbed her back, "he will. Trust me, I know Derek, and all his asshole tendencies and comments aside, he's glad you're here."

"Really?" Casey asked through her tears. She wanted to believe him, but what he was saying seemed too unlikely.

"I swear," he promised, his voice the height of sincerity.

Derek may've still been coming to terms with Casey living with him, she may've gotten on his nerves at times, and he may've really seen her slaving away for him as an upside to what he deemed a shitty ass situation, but that grin he'd been sporting earlier when Sam had asked how things were going had been genuine.

They had been friends for years, and Sam had seen Derek grin all of about ten times. Derek smirked; Derek frowned; Derek did _not_ grin. But he had today, and that gave Sam faith - faith that Casey could actually pull this off.

"You can do this," he told her.

"How?" She was still a little whiny, but her tears had subsided considerably. There was something comforting about Sam's awkward little back rub and sincere two and three word assurances that Derek wasn't a complete ass - she was almost starting to believe him.

"I don't know," he answered, and for the first time that day she was positive he was being honest. "But tell me, for real, are you into Derek?" He knew he already had her answer, but he just had to hear her say it. Liking Derek was so un-Casey like, that Sam still had this niggling feeling that maybe he was wrong, and before he said something and maybe put his foot in it, he had to hear her admit it.

_Into Derek?_ Casey was into chocolate ice cream. She was _in love _with Derek - it wasn't like she was cooking steak just for the hell of it. Crushes got vegetarian pizza, maybe turkey burgers if she was feeling jazzy, but steak, well, if it was steak it must be love.

"Yeah," she murmured, choosing to spare him a lecture about what food went with what guy. It might hurt his feelings; he'd only ranked baked tilapia. Even Max had gotten shrimp.

"Like how into him?" Sam pressed, releasing her slightly so he could get a look at her face. He couldn't help himself, now that he had finally worked up the nerve to broach the subject with her after wondering about it for years, he wanted to know everything.

"Like… so into him that I turned down my father's offer of carte blanche, just so I could stay here and cook him steak and potatoes while he complains about my very existence and tries to push me away at every turn," she finished, taking a deep breath.

"Okay…" he said slowly, slightly taken aback by her vehemence. "Well, that's good."

"Really?" she asked suspiciously, she was kind of surprised that now that he knew the truth about her feelings he hadn't jumped to the conclusion that she had trapped Derek. He was a guy, after all.

"Yes, really," he gave her hand a squeeze, having seen the skepticism in her eyes. "Call me old fashioned, but I think it's kind of nice that you're in love with the guy who got you pregnant."

Casey finally smiled then. "Thanks for being so cool," she squeezed his hand, "it's nice to have another person on team Get Casey's Baby's Daddy to See Her as More than a Nuisance. Now," she sighed, "if I could just get Derek to play his position, I might feel like I actually had a chance at winning."

Sam frowned when he noticed Casey's smile slipping a bit—the last thing he wanted was more crying. "Well, maybe I can get Derek to stop blocking."

_Really?_ "Really? How?" Casey asked, excitedly. No one could ever accuse her of being unable to bounce back quickly.

"I'm not exactly sure," he admitted, sheepishly. But when she started to look weepy again, he was quick to soothe her. "I'll think of something though," he promised, and was rewarded with a smile and a hug.

"Oh, Sam, you're so--" but her compliment died on her lips.

Suddenly, and without warning, there was a sharp knock on the door and then it was opened and there stood Derek.

He didn't look upset, quite to the contrary, he looked like he was watching paint dry. But, still, Casey had the feeling that this little scene wasn't helping matters any.

"Is everything cool in here?" Derek asked, somewhat impatiently.

"Yeah," Casey responded, extracting herself from Sam, "I was just--"

"I don't need the blow by blow, Princess," he told her, waving his arms dismissively. "I just wanted to know if I could take a piss already."

"Oh," she said, trying her best not to crumple in front of him. "I'll umm… I'll just go then," she mumbled, before brushing past him and leaving the bathroom.

Sam made to follow her, but Derek stopped him with a hand on his arm. Apparently, he didn't have to pee that bad after all.

Derek was silent for a moment. Gone was the bored mask he'd worn with Casey, now he just looked uncomfortable as hell.

"Is she okay?" he finally blurted out, his voice barely above a whisper.

The question was so unexpected that it took Sam a second to get his bearings. When he eventually did, it took everything in him not to grin like an idiot. _I'll be damned, something Casey's doing must be working. _This - showing that he cared, even in such a miniscule way - was huge for Derek, but Sam knew that drawing attention to that fact would only scare away semi-sensitive Derek and replace him with douche bag Derek, so he adopted as casual tone as he could manage when he answered.

"Casey's cool," he assured him. "She just heard your maid comment," he told him, before his inner voice could point out how much Casey might not appreciate him doing so, "and it kind of hurt her feelings."

Derek suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. "She couldn't tell I was joking?"

'_Maybe it wasn't funny,'_ was on the tip of his tongue, but somehow he held it in. "She knows now." He shrugged. "I think she just needed someone to talk to." _You know, someone who doesn't make her want to cry… or start stabbing people._

"And she picked you?" Derek shot back before he could stop himself.

Considerably surprised that something like that had slipped out of his friend's mouth, Sam asked a question of his own. "Who else was she gonna pick?"

That time he did roll his eyes. "I don't know," he shrugged, "maybe the guy she's living with."

Surprise didn't even begin to cover what Sam was experiencing after that comment.

"You want Casey to come to you with her problems, to talk to you about her emotions?"

Derek's shudder was almost immediate. "No," he was quick to answer. "I'm just saying, the baby she's carrying is mine--"

"And," Sam prompted.

_And… and… and… I don't know. _He didn't even know where exactly he had been going with that. Hell, he didn't even know why he'd started down that path in the first place. He really _didn't_ want Casey crying all on his shoulder. He already felt like he was in the twilight zone - he didn't think he'd be able to stand it if their relationship got any weirder.

But when he'd walked in the bathroom and seen an obviously crying Casey in his best friend's arms, he'd felt… strange. For some reason he couldn't fathom, he had felt like it should've been him helping her. He just couldn't figure out why. Because, honestly, he didn't want her discussing feelings and crying around him - her tears made him do crazy things… like agree to let her move in. But, still, he couldn't shake the feeling that it should've been him.

"You were saying," Sam said, interrupting his thoughts.

_That_ shook Derek out of it though. Sam was obviously trying to provoke him now, but he wasn't about to let this odd little conversation get any… odder. He was all kinds of uncomfortable and the little half smile playing on Sam's face wasn't helping things either, so he said the only thing he could.

"What part of I gotta take a leak don't you understand?"

_Umm… the part where you grabbed my arm and started talking to me,_' he was tempted to say, but he took pity on his friend and opted to leave.

As soon as he quit the bathroom and heard the door slam shut, his smile grew wider. But when he walked into the living room and saw Casey's grin, his felt puny in comparison--she looked like the Grinch after he'd stole Christmas she was cheesing so hard.

"He's jealous," she whisper-yelled, triumphantly.

Uh oh. Casey was happy, too damn happy. Sam was happy too, he thought Derek's reaction was a step in the right direction, but he wasn't exactly sure if he'd call it jealousy. Frankly, Sam didn't think that Derek cared enough about Casey yet for what he was feeling to be classified as jealousy.

Casey was obviously on a different page though.

"He didn't like seeing us together," she said, fairly beaming at the thought. "We can use that."

"How?" Sam asked, like he didn't know exactly where she was going with this.

"How do you think--" she began, but for the second time that day her words died on her lips because, for the second time that day, there was Derek.

"If you two are done whispering like a couple of chicks," he began, his bored tone back in place, "I'm ready to go to the bar, Sam."

"What bar?" "Isn't it a little early?" Casey and Sam had spoken at the same time, but Derek didn't pay Casey any mind when he answered.

Derek shrugged. "It's never too early for a beer."

"But we just got here."

"So what," he said, putting on his jacket and heading for the door.

"_So_ I made dinner for us," Casey interjected, jaws tight.

He shrugged again. "Put it in the microwave, I'll eat when I get back. Come on, Sam," he said, before heading out the door.

Sam sighed and said, "I'll talk to you later, Case." And after one last pityingly glance, he was gone too.

As Casey stared after them, her body practically shook with indignation. Put it in the microwave? That was it - it was time to revise her strategy a little bit.

TBC…

A/N: Hate it? Like it? Drop me a line and let me know what you thought


	6. Chapter 6

"You want me to _what_?" Sam fairly yelled.

"Shut up," Casey hissed, frantically sweeping her eyes around the room like she thought Derek was about to pop out of a corner or something.

"Why?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "Derek's not even here." _'The lucky bastard,' _he thought to himself.

Sam wasn't supposed to be there either. He made the journey out to Derek's apartment about once a month, not once a week. The only reason he'd even blown off studying to come over was because Casey had been calling him on stalker status for the past week. And, for some reason, when Casey called him he turned into Sophomore Sam and had some inexplicable urge to do her bidding.

Really, he was all for helping her, wanted her to be happy. And, he'd known since last Friday when he and Derek had left for the bar that Casey was going to ask him to do this, but the advance warning hadn't made her request any easier to swallow.

"So," she snapped, pulling his attention back to her. "First rule of Get Casey and Derek Together by Making Derek Jealous Club: _don't_ _yell_ about Get Casey and Derek Together by Making Derek Jealous Club. That's how secrets get found out."

"Well… maybe we shouldn't talk about it at all then, huh?" he asked hopefully.

"But, Sammy," she whined.

_Crap. _Sammy? It never meant anything good was coming when somebody started calling him that.

"You promised that you'd help me get Derek."

"Yeah, but—

"And," she cut in, "you admit that he was jealous the other day…"

He had never admitted any such thing, but trying to explain that would've been futile. Casey obviously wasn't able to distinguish between the makings of jealously and actual jealousy, so he just nodded.

"So," she began with a smile, "isn't it only logical to assume that if you displayed a romantic interest in me Derek would have something to say about it? This could make him step his game up."

_Step his game up – step his foot in my ass._ Sam had to grimace; it was the only way he could think to distract his lips. Cause if he hadn't, they would've immediately formed the words "not no, but hell no."

Forget that this little plan of Casey's would probably result in him getting the ass kicking of a lifetime – that alone he could've maybe lived with. But he didn't think he could live with losing Derek's friendship. The guy may've been the biggest asshole he'd ever met, but Derek was an asshole he'd gotten used to.

It wasn't the mack on Casey part – that part and the reaction it might elicit from Derek had the potential to be highly amusing. But he'd bet his last dollar that the play daddy to Casey's unborn child aspect—and from what she'd just told him and _not_ told him, that was a large chunk of her plan—wouldn't be fun for anyone.

"Sammy," she said again, though this time her voice was more worried than coy. "What is it?"

"You can't just fuck with somebody's family like that."

_Huh?_ Casey looked so lost she could've had her own show on ABC. "What now?"

Sighing, Sam leaned towards her and whispered, "There's like a code about these things, Casey."

Folding her arms across her chest, she cocked an eyebrow and asked, "A male code?" Sarcasm was fairly dripping from her words.

"Actually," he paused, "yes."

There was a male code. Sam may not have admitted it all those years ago, but he'd certainly known about it. Pinocchio though he may be, Derek had not been lying about there being a code. Sisters _are_ off limits (and, yes, stepsisters count). But sisters were only the tip of the iceberg.

Kids were what had really taken out the Titanic.

Messing with someone's family was eye gouging; it was ear biting; it was a man kicking another man in the nuts.

It was below the belt, and no real man would ever stoop that low… even to help the one girl who he'd always had a soft spot for.

"Kids are off limits," he finally continued, voice quiet yet firm. "I'll help you, but it's got to be another way."

"But—

He gave his head the slightest shake, and said, "Another way, Casey."

Usually, this is where Casey would've brainstormed. She would've regrouped, drawn up some diagrams, reworked her delivery, and poked, pushed and prodded until she brought Sam around to her way of thinking. And, if that hadn't worked, she would've gone to her old stand by: crying.

But she didn't want to run (too much) game on Sam – she didn't want to trick him into helping her. And she didn't want him to get so annoyed with her that he decided not to help at all.

So, she gave Manipulative Casey the hour off, and let Reasonable Casey pick up that extra shift she so desperately needed.

"Is there any way I can change your mind?"

"No," he said honestly, but he was smiling again – that was an 'I'm giving up' signal if he'd ever heard one. "But I stand by what I said, I—

He broke off when the door knob started turning. Things were going to look bad enough with him even being there; Derek didn't need to hear him promising Casey anything. Not after the bullet he'd just managed to dodge.

Sam barely managed to give Casey a pat on the knee and a reassuring smile before Derek was standing in front of them.

And that – Derek walking into _his home_ to see _his girl_ (at least, that's how Sam thought of her)and _his best friend_ sitting close, looking like they'd been caught with their hands in the cookie jar – would've been awkward enough. But leave it to Derek to outdo them.

He didn't walk in alone. He had a… friend with him.

"Sup," Derek greeted, like this odd little foursome was quite the norm for him. "Y'all know Amber, right?" he asked, absently, before plopping down in the nearest chair.

_Uh… no. _Sam didn't know Amber from Adam. Hell, he'd bet his last dollar that Derek probably didn't know much more about her than her bra size. And Casey, well, Casey looked like she was about to become intimately acquainted with Amber… or, at least, her fist was about to become acquainted with the oblivious girl's face. Sam figured that she had to be in the dark about Derek and Casey's situation, because there was no way she would've been smiling like that if she wasn't.

"No," Casey fairly spat, when she finally got her bearings. "I haven't had the _pleasure_."

"The pleasure is all mine," Amber replied smugly, before taking a seat on Derek's lap.

_Okaaayyy_. Sam had to change his immediate opinion of her – oblivious she wasn't. She'd sure picked up on the venom in Casey's voice, and from the way she was pressed against Derek she obviously had an idea about the source of that venom.

"Amber's staying for dinner," Derek declared.

And Sam's eyes about popped out of his head. This was starting to get unbelievable. If he hadn't known any better he would've sworn that Derek was trying to make Casey jealous, but he shook that thought off almost as soon as it popped into his mind. Derek wasn't trying to make anyone jealous; he just didn't know how to act. Social graces had never been his strong suit.

"What'd you cook?" Derek asked Casey without even bothering to glance in her direction.

Sam's eyes weren't thing only thing popping anymore – Casey looked about ready to throw down. Before she could launch the remote she was gripping at Derek though, Amber turned to her, bitchy smile still in tact.

"Aww, you cook? How quaint."

"Yeah," Casey said, wearing a smile that matched Amber's in sincerity. "That's not all I can do either."

Amber didn't even blink at the unmistakable threat. Instead, she clucked her tongue and responded.

Sam didn't catch what she said though; he was too busy thinking about how much he would've liked to kill Derek at that moment.

It was over. He had finally worked up the nerve to stand up to Casey and it had been for nothing. Now he had to do a total dick move, go against what he thought was right and break the male code, and all because Derek had taken it upon himself to break the human decency code.

You do _not_ bring another girl around your currently pregnant baby's mama. Period. It doesn't matter what type of relationship you _think_ you have with your child's mother—it could be more open than a 7-11—that sort of thing just isn't done.

And now, because Derek had broken protocol and stayed true to character, there was no sense in Sam sticking to the script. Even if he wanted to—which he _really_ did—he couldn't, because intentionally or not, Derek had just thrown down the gauntlet.

And since Casey couldn't rise to this particular challenge by herself, Sam was going to have to become the type of dirty fighter he'd always hated and take up with Casey – he didn't have the heart to leave her hanging like that.

So he sighed and did the only thing he could do.

"You've been working too hard, Case," he said, interrupting perhaps the nicest argument he'd ever heard. (He had to give it up to the female population. Only girls could argue like Amber and Casey were - being nice, yet completely bitchy at the same time. It was actually kind of impressive.)

"What?" Casey asked absently, gaze still focused on her new enemy.

"I said," he threw an arm around her shoulders and gave her an affectionate squeeze, "you've been working too hard lately, Princess."

_Now_ he had everyone's attention, even Derek had stopped watching TV and cocked an eyebrow in his direction.

_Shit. Here goes nothing._ "You deserve a night off," he told her. "Want to go out?"

Casey's eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "With you?"

Resisting the urge to role his eyes, Sam put on his best grin and said, "Yeah."

Casey just stared at him gape mouthed for a minute, then she blinked and he could actually see the light bulb come on over her head.

"Yeah." She smiled tremendously and, to Sam's horror, looked close to tears. "That'd be nice."

Sam was off the couch in seconds. "Let's go," he told her, before reaching down and pulling her to her feet. He needed to get her out of there before she started leaking all over the place and gave them away, guaranteeing that his ass kicking would get an early release date.

"We're out," Sam announced, draping his arm across Casey's shoulders once again. "See you later, D."

"What am I supposed to do about dinner?" Derek asked, sounding completely put out.

Casey literally had to bite her tongue to keep the words, 'ask that bitch,' from spilling through her lips.

"I can fix you something," Amber volunteered readily, sending Casey a triumphant grin.

_Over my dead body_. Casey's eyes flared; all her bitchy thoughts aside, she did not want that woman in her kitchen. "That would be—

"Great," Sam finished for her, while giving her arm a warning squeeze. Lord only knew what she'd been planning on saying, but Sam was positive that it wouldn't have been anything good.

Heeding his warning, Casey took a deep (somewhat) calming breath and refocused her attention on the matter at hand—making Derek jealous.

"Yeah, that would be great," she echoed, her smile back in place. "Come on Sammy, let's go. I'm _ravenous_."

There was a world of implication in that one word – even Amber stopped glaring, she was so surprised by the blatant sexual connotations. Casey might as well have licked her lips.

Sam was a little shocked himself. In a matter of seconds she'd gone from looking like she was about to snap Amber like a twig to giving him one of the most public eye fucks he'd ever had. After all these years, he was still amazed by how easily Casey could switch gears.

In fact, the only person who didn't react was the one person Casey had been trying to provoke. Derek didn't even shrug – he didn't even glance in their direction. And after a disappointing little moment, Casey grabbed her jacket and Sam led her out of the apartment.

They hadn't made it five doors down the hallway though, before Casey was grabbing his sleeve and backing him into a corner.

"What," Casey looked up into his eyes, and was overcome with such a wave of affection that she had to pause and start over. "Why did you do that?" she asked him, her voice practically trembling with gratitude.

"I had to—Derek kicked you in the nuts."

"Oh…"

Nope. Try as she might, she didn't know what the hell that was supposed to mean.

"Umm… what?"

"What's the dirtiest move girls do to each other when they fight?" Sam asked, impatiently.

"Hair pulling?" she guessed, then shrugged when he rolled his eyes. _Well, what does he expect?_ Not counting her battles with Derek, Casey had been in a whopping total of zero real fights in her life. She'd always been able to talk the other person down before it actually came to blows.

"Okay," Sam said, not really caring by that point. "Well… Derek made fun of your hair, then he pulled it, then he pissed on it."

"Jesus," Casey swore. _Well… that's depressing. _

Actually, it was _really_ depressing. But Casey refused to dwell on that. Her day may've sucked royally, but she'd gotten what she wanted. Sam was on board with her plan, and she hadn't even had to deceive him into helping her either.

Simply put, Sam was clutch, and she loved him for it.

"Casey," Sam said, sounding worried. _Maybe I should've stopped at 'he pulled it'_.

She looked all misty eyed again, and the last thing he wanted to do was push (what he believed to be) her already fragile (and severely damaged) psyche over the edge.

"Casey," he started to try again, but she interrupted him, putting a hand on either side of his face.

"You curled my hair and tied a ribbon in it," she told him softly, before leaning up and kissing the side of his mouth. "You made it pretty."

_It's finally happened – she's lost her mind._

At his lost and somewhat disturbed look, Casey rolled her eyes for a second time that night.

"Don't look at me like I just shaved my head and attacked you with an umbrella." She clucked her tongue, before explaining, "I thought we were using metaphors. I was just trying to tell you that you're awesome."

"Oh, well, thanks," he mumbled, and then tried to get past her. It sounded like she was about to go on a tangent about her feelings or something, which was the last thing he wanted to bear witness to. He'd been bombarded with feelings all day; there was only so much a man could take on an empty stomach.

"I mean it, Sam." She pulled on his arm and brought him back to face her. "This means a lot to me."

_Here comes the hug… right…about…_

"I'm just so lucky to have you in my life," she said tearfully, before going in for a hug.

Her current condition and reluctant baby daddy notwithstanding, Casey _was_ lucky. Sam wouldn't have done this for any other girl.

And, Derek may have been more unaware of it than Casey, but he was one lucky S.O.B. too. Most guys didn't have smart, beautiful girls breaking their necks trying to get with them.

In fact, the only unlucky person in the equation seemed to be Sam. And, he had a feeling that his luck wouldn't improve—might even only get worse—until the matter of Derek and Casey was settled.

He could only hope that would happen soon.


	7. Chapter 7

There was nothing ladylike about the way Amber launched herself off of Derek's lap. In fact, if he'd been paying the slightest bit of attention to her he would've caught an eye full. Too bad he was staring a whole in the door; Amber was living footloose and underwear free that day.

"Hey," she snapped, after dropping down onto the couch. "All the staring in the world isn't going to bring your crazy little girlfriend back."

Derek whipped his head around and leveled her with a look. And, she might've been intimidated, might've thought better of her tone, if it wasn't for the fact that she was mad as hell.

Amber had no illusions about herself—she knew what type of girl she was and she knew what type of guys liked her. That didn't mean that she was completely lacking in the morals department though. And if there was one rule she'd always lived by it was don't mess with other girls' guys. That type of thing only brought drama, unnecessary drama, and she had enough trouble with catty ass girls without inviting more problems.

The only reason she'd even participated in the Casey Bitch Fest was because she also had a low tolerance for unwarranted anger. And, okay, so Casey's anger probably wasn't completely unwarranted, but still… Amber had felt like she was under attack the moment she'd walked into Derek's apartment and her natural reaction had been to strike back.

But now that her new enemy was gone Derek was about to get it. Amber did _not_ like being set up, and she had the sneaking suspicion that was exactly what he had done.

"Oh, you can make all the faces at me you want," she said, responding to the glare he was sending her way. "It's not going to make me take back what I said, and it won't bring her back either."

That was it – he looked about ready to snap. But then his whole demeanor changed, and he was back to looking exactly how he had when Sam and Casey were there—like he couldn't have cared less about what was going on. He went right back to watching TV and seemed intent on ignoring her.

Amber eyeballed him incredulously for a second, before she was struck by genius (or insanity). Casually easing herself off the couch, she clicked her way over to him and smacked him on the back of the head.

"You're not about to do _me_ like this," she declared, while folding her arms across her chest. "I'm _not_ Casey."

Apparently there was only so much Derek could ignore, because that got him to speak up.

"Excuse me?"

"No," she said, simply. "I will not. I cannot," she corrected, "excuse the way you used me today." Okay, so, yeah, she'd thought some using would be involved but she had assumed it'd be the pleasurable, dirty, fun kind of using. "I signed up for an afternoon delight, not the afternoon from hell."

She was more like Casey than she thought – apparently they were the only people, save maybe Sam, Ralph, and Emily, who were immune to his glare. Most of his contemporaries would've run screaming for the hills by now, or at least sat down and shut up.

So, since glaring wasn't working, he decided to try another tactic. Using all the energy he could muster he molded his lips into some semblance of a smile and attempted to turn on the charm he was typically famous for.

"The afternoon's not over yet." He winked at her. "And now that they're gone—

Amber didn't even give him a chance to finish. "You can't be serious," she said, voice a mix of incredulousness and fury. "You honestly don't think I'm still going to fuck you?"

He knew for a fact that she was the type of girl who didn't wear panties on a regular basis. So, yeah; he'd thought it was a distinct possibility.

"What can I say?" He gave a lazy shrug and turned back to the TV. "I took a shot."

"Yeah, well, if you would've taken that shot before I had the pleasure of meeting your girlfriend, you might've got to hit."

"Well, you win some, you lose some," he shot back, without even bothering to look up at her.

"Looks like you lost _all_." She smirked. "Your psycho girlfriend seems to have a new toy," she laughed meanly, "and you already know where the two of us stand."

"True," he conceded, before finally giving her his full attention. "But what I _don't_ know is why you keep calling her that."

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because she's funnier than a three dollar bill?"

"No," he rolled his eyes, "not that. I know she's not all there." He knew that better than anybody. "But why do you assume she's my girlfriend?"

She snorted. "You're not really gonna sit up here and try to tell me that you haven't had sex with her?"

He almost snorted himself. "Since when does sleeping with somebody automatically put you in a relationship? If that's the case, I'm in a relationship with seventy-five percent of the girls in your building."

"Okay." Amber knew (from experience) that he had a point, but still… "How many of that seventy-five percent do you let have free reign of your place while you're not home though? Casey looked quite comfortable."

"She should," he shrugged, "she lives here."

_Talk about a plot twist_. She didn't know why, but she hadn't seen that coming. "She lives with you?" she echoed. "And you two have slept together?" He didn't respond, but she was sure of the answer and kept right on going. "But you aren't in a relationship?"

"No." He had no problem answering that time – best to clear up any confusion before Amber started telling tales and sent all his female friends into a panic.

When she just stared at him disbelievingly, Derek sighed. "We're _not_ in a relationship. It's just… complicated," he told her after a long moment.

Amber continued to stare at him… like he was failing horribly at becoming a real boy, but his lips remained firmly closed that time. He'd heard and done enough talking for the day.

"Fine," she snapped, mad at him for getting her caught up in the shit, mad at herself for missing out on her daily tumble. "Well let me uncomplicated things for you." She walked over to where her purse sat forgotten and picked it up before heading to the door. "I'm leaving."

"Really?" he asked, voice ringing with feigned regret. "But what about my dinner?"

He had to be kidding her. A blind man could've seen that she'd just been trying to stick it to Casey when she'd made that little declaration. And even if it hadn't been all talk, there was no way she'd cook for him now… unless it was pot of hot grits he wanted.

"Don't worry," she assured him with a smile, "if there's any justice in the world Casey and your _other_ complication will hit it off, and then at least you'll get your just deserts."

After delivering that last little dig, Amber stomped her way out the door with the quickness. If she'd been a little less determined to make such a dramatic exit though, she would've had the satisfaction of seeing that her words had made somewhat of an impact.

He wasn't fretting or simpering or anything else girly, but there was actually a trace of worry on his face. Because, spiteful bitch though she may've been, she had a point – Sam was a complication.

For reasons he couldn't really name—and didn't really want to think about too hard—Derek was _very_ unhappy about this new development in the Casey/Sam friendship. Dinner; calling her princess; the word "ravenous" (Derek may've been unsure what it meant exactly, but it had sounded awfully dirty) being tossed around in casual conversation; just all felt wrong, like Sam was trespassing on his territory or something.

And that was a feeling Derek didn't like at all.

OOOOOOOO

"Don't touch that," Casey ordered, without even turning around. She'd heard the shower stop minutes earlier, and then she'd heard him moving (loudly) around the kitchen, and though she was turned away from him, she didn't need eyes in the back of her head to see that he'd be zeroing in on the heaping plates of food sitting on the table.

"But I bought it," he said, through what she guessed was a mouth full of bacon.

"Yeah," she dropped the last of the dirty silverware in the sink, before turning around to face him, "you did. But I unwrapped it all," she gestured to all the food, "spent the better part of my morning cooking it, and then washed all the dishes, including the ones Amber didn't bother to clean after cooking you dinner. So, I'd say we're even."

He wasn't sure why he didn't correct her assumption, but he didn't. Instead he popped a piece of sausage in his mouth and asked, "If we're even why can't I have any?"

_Because you let that bitch with a fear of underwear cook in my kitchen_. "Because," she said, after taking a minute to get herself under control so that her voice would be normal when she spoke. "It's for Sam."

A thousand responses ran through his mind, chief among them: _why the hell would Sam be coming to my house this early in the morning?_ But since he didn't feel like hearing a speech about sharing, the true meaning of friendship, or the merits of hospitality, he said one of the less inflammatory comments that were floating around his head.

"Like he could eat this all himself." See, non explosive, and true. The tiny kitchen was filled to the brim. It looked like Casey was auditioning for her own show on The Food Network.

"I don't know." Casey turned back to the sink under the guise of needing to finish washing, but it was really so she could smile when she said, "I'd bet he worked up quite an appetite last night."

"Doing what?"

"Well," she practically purred, "things got kind of… oh, what's the word? Physical? Yeah, things got kind of physical after dinner."

Not even a lie. Things had gotten physical – that had been the roughest game of mini golf she'd ever participated in. Sam played to win.

"Really?" he asked.

It was obvious he had tried to keep his voice level, but Casey could hear the sourness in his tone and it only spurred her on.

"Yeah, we had--

She was going to go on, but when she turned around Derek was standing right in front of her. She hadn't even heard him walk up on her, but there he was, standing before her and looking like he was about to bust.

And he was. Derek really wanted to know if they slept together, he really wanted to flat out ask her, but even his no foresight having self could recognize that asking her something like that would only serve to add another weird dimension to their already bizarre and overly complicated mess of a relationship. So, he took a couple of steps back, put his stoic expression back in place, and grabbed a plate.

"I paid for it," he told her, when she stared at him blankly. "I'm eating it."

_That's it? That can't be it, can it?_ She'd practically stamped 'I had sex last night. Good sex. Good sex with your best friend,' on her forehead and he still hadn't taken the bait. Nope. Mr. No Self-Control must've finally found some cause he just sat there shoveling food in his mouth.

And with every bite he took without even shooting her a glance or giving any indication that he wasn't alone, Casey lost a little bit of her appetite. By the time he reached for seconds she felt downright sick. He was supposed to get in her face; he was supposed to ask her if she slept with Sam; he was supposed to give a damn.

Had she read him wrong the other day? Or, had she simply overplayed her hand? What was it? What was the reason for his lack of reaction?

Casey hadn't expected a miracle, but she'd expected something.

"Where's your boyfriend?" Derek asked, startling her out of her thoughts.

"Huh?" she replied, dumbly, still stuck on his nonchalant attitude.

"Sam," he reminded her, somewhat snidely. "I thought this feast was for—

He didn't get the last word out before someone started knocking at the door.

_Thank God_ was all Casey could think, she needed some support in the worst way. Her gait may've looked relaxed, but she made it to the door and had it opened in record time.

As soon as Sam saw her face, he silently cursed that bastard in front of him who'd been driving like an eighty year old. Sam had meant to be their early, because whether Derek would actually be jealous or if Casey would be upset because he wasn't, Sam was sure that she'd want (read: need) some back up. And if the expression she was wearing was any indication, he'd been absolutely right.

Thank goodness he had remembered to bring his cape.

Throwing an arm around Casey, as much to offer her support as to give Derek something to see, Sam gave her shoulder a squeeze and led back into the kitchen.

When he saw all the food, his eyes about popped out of his head.

"Who all were you expecting for breakfast?" he asked, while taking a seat at the table.

She could tell Derek was listening, but he must've not been paying enough attention for her liking because she planted herself on Sam's lap before answering.

"You," her eyes flashed briefly to Derek, but he was too busy looking anywhere _except_ the spectacle in front of him to notice. "Just you."

"Umm… thanks," the soft seductive voice she used threw him a little, but his words were genuine. He'd been hoping for some pancakes or maybe an omelet, but after this meal he was sure he wouldn't need to eat for days.

"You did something _special_ for me last night," she said, staring him straight in the eyes and meaning every word. (And if Derek picked up a little extra something from her words, so much the better.) "So I wanted to do something special for you."

"Thanks," he said again, voice just above a whisper this time. Honestly, he was touched.

"I'm trying to eat here," Derek grunted out, when Sam and Casey held their gaze just a little too long.

"And?" Casey snapped, though she was inwardly pleased that he'd actually bothered to say something.

"And," he snapped right back, "it's kind of hard to keep anything down while you two are over there having eye sex."

_Eye Sex? _Sam had to cock an eyebrow at that – it was about the most girly things he'd ever heard Derek say. More than that, the comment almost had him becoming a believer. Maybe Derek was truly jealous. If it was five years earlier, Sam wouldn't have thought anything of the comment, would've just assumed that Derek didn't like him flirting with his stepsister. But since Derek obviously didn't think of Casey as a sister anymore, Sam couldn't go with that theory.

_So it had to be jealousy… didn't it? Maybe, maybe not._ _Well, only one way to find out._

Moving the hand that was resting on Casey's hip gingerly up her back and to the back up her head, Sam took a deep breath, tilted her head back and kissed her (tongue and all).

Casey seemed stunned for a second, but only for a second, then she was most willing (and enthusiastic) kissing partner he'd ever had in his life. Who knows how long she would've egged him on with little moans and roving hands if their audience hadn't been so disruptive?

Sam and Casey never even saw the syrup coming.

"De-rek!" "What the hell?"

"Sorry," Derek said, with a laugh, while he watched them try to clean themselves off. "It slipped."

"That's funny," Casey said, but her voice held no humor. "My foot is just about to slip into your-

"Aww," Derek interrupted, before she could finish her threat, "crazy hormones kicking in already, Princess?"

"Argh," she practically growled, the syrup dripping from her face and hair just making her look more off the wall, "just leave, Derek."

"With pleasure." He got up from the table, still smiling, and made his way over to the coat rack. "Well, kids, it's been fun," he told them, before walking out the door.

"God," Sam swore, before heaving a sigh. "I can't believe he did that."

"I know, right," Casey agreed.

But when she swiveled around in his lap to face him and Sam saw a smile instead of a frown to match the one he was sporting, he knew their wires had got crossed somewhere. _Why the hell is she so happy?_

"Umm… aren't you mad?"

"What?" she sounded beyond surprised by his question. "I just wanted him to leave before I broke out into a grin and spoiled all your hard work."

_Huh?_

"I thought it'd take way longer to get that kind of display of jealousy out of him," she explained, as if she had read his mind. "But that kiss, Sam, that kiss was such a great idea. Thank you," she threw her arms around his neck, not even noticing the even bigger mess she was making of both of them. "Thank you so much.

See, this was the problem with having crazy ass friends. Casey practically got bathed in what had felt like a gallon of syrup and she acted like it was the best damn thing that had ever happened to her. Sam knew she loved the guy, but, really, this was a bit much.

And, could they even be sure that it was jealousy behind the syrup tossing? What if Derek had just felt like being an asshole? After all, he was a habitual line stepper. Who knew what had been going through his mind?

"Oooo" she squealed, squeezing him even tighter, "he is _so_ mine."

_Oh, that's right, I forgot you moonlighted as a telepath," _Sam thought sarcastically, even as he returned her hug.

He was all for being positive. But, honestly, at that point, he could see this thing with Derek and Casey going either way.


End file.
